Currently Watching Man of the Year (Widescreen) By Robin Williams, Christopher Walken, Laura Linney, Lewis Black, Jeff Goldblum, Faith Daniels, David Alpay, Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Doug Murray (II), Chris Matthews (VII), James Carville, Rick Roberts, Karen Hines, Linda Kash, David Nichols (IV), David Ferry, Dmitry Chepovetsky, Brandon Firla, Sasha Roiz see related

Are you a Christian?

The question of faith has been knocking around in my head and heart lately, mainly because of a comment from a close friend.  First off I think the word faith is used wrongly a majority of the time it leaves the lips of the speaker.  It's watered down to simply "what is your faith?" or "faith is for idealists".  However, when I hear "have faith my friend" even when it's a simple matter, the exact purpose for the term is by far much more fair to the whole concept. 

I think there is a time for when we should put faith in people contrary to the fact that they/we are fallible and may not come out on top.  When I teach children I put my faith into each child several times a class.  English is the goal yes, but I always long to give more.  When I give them the challenge in front of them, they take it and sometimes excel and sometimes fall.   When they fall, I feel sad with them but we do it again, and when they succeed I'm excited with them (sometimes more than they are).  Imagine watching over your children and hurting when they are and excited when they are as a full-time job.  Have faith in them, and they have faith in you to receive them even when they are wrong.  Jesus thank you.

Now, back to the faith matter.  Sometimes I think the decision I made was a simple one (even though I have had my fair share of challenges..Some I still have not recovered from), but where would I be without hope?  Not far.

Those who have not made the decision to follow Christ often challenge me with "why does it boil down to 'faith' in the end? I live by circumstancial evidence and things I can perceive".  What I don't get is, how you can't see life beyond your five senses?.  We put our faith into family and friends everyday without even second guessing ourselves. 

Romans 1 says "the righteous must have faith".  I agree although I think it's a bit offending to some of you.  Let's break it down a bit though.  Context first.  Paul is writing to the Romans who are Gentiles and have thus far felt pretty confused by the mixed messages from the church (at least I think so) as to whether or not they can have faith or not in Christ.  Rome is a great place to discuss doctrine and so Paul did because Greece has been the center of thought for ages.  So Paul first declares Christ to them, then welcomes them by clearly explaining that gentiles are welcome, then goes on to finish up with the righteous must have faith.  Must be pretty important.  Of course the Romans can connect with this, they know about idealism and society and how it's needed even when it's not shown in our face.

The righteous I suppose means those who are morally straight, those who want to do good.  Faith we all know is confidence or trust in something.  Why do I think this is okay to say?  Because in this world we must have faith in ourselves (as in us/man/woman) but also in I- don't-care-what-you-call-it, 'higher good".  Idealism.  Social justice.  Friendship.  Love.  It all takes FAITH and we should not be scared to use this word.  So I say, have faith friends and family in each other and in man and in God (or whatever Good you wish to use to guide you).

Coldplay is the best band ever.

Thanks for reading and caring,

Adam

I'm relieved..?? err..not

Currently Listening Pedal to the Metal see related

My problem

I once heard someone say "I fall in love 10 times a day".  How true I think that is.  I've been in a number of relationships my entire life, mostly because ever since I was 6 years old the "norm" was to have a girlfriend.  And so, in my strange experience I have continuously had a girldfriend since primary school.  The longest break to my memory is 8 months in Grade nine when I was deeply depressed because I could not find a girlfriend. 

I'm not sure exactly why my life has been like this, I think it has something to do with my upbrining and a lonely topic that I can talk to my father with.  I'm not a womanizer, I don't to the best of my ability use women for anything.  I just really, really enjoy their company.  I'm not a sex addict (although I just bought that movie -- don't judge it's title), I don't have a pornogaphy problem either I just like being with women. 

I guess the comfort of a girl (the term woman seems old to me..?) liking me, and eventually loving me has always validated me and given me confidence.  I have loved several women and several women have loved me, but unfortuantely because of my sporatic lifestyle changing decisionsand the unability to make decisions when I should (yes they are oxymorons in a way, but you can suffer from both) I have hurt girls.  Hurting a girl is one of the most painful experiences you can go through.  I don't suggest it.

Love is something silly to allow yourself to fall into often.  It creates a weakness in a man quickly.  Where times before I could be patient, when a girl is being hurt by some external force your sole mission is to eliminate that force.  I'm not even a violent guy.  Love is silly to change often because you may love more than one person at the same time.  Knowing that you love another girl who loves you and you still love is well aweful.  It's strange when I think of love (and I do mean Eros) it brings mostly back just pain.  YET, I'm willing to do it all over again tomorrow.

I remember a long time ago in my journal I wrote that love of a special girl creates a little piece of heaven and self-peace that I long for.  It strengthens my faith and then when I imagine God's love for us I generally tear up and cry.  Oh and by the way, I'm actually a pretty sensitive guy who is empathetic.  Yeah, try having the syndrom I have and continue to be empathetic about it.  It's difficult.  But since I'm so 'sensitive' I can't stop. 

Love (Eros) is a beautiful thing.  Next I'll talk about affection love.

My latest letter

Dear senior management,

November 15, 2006

Due to lack of support and respect of me personally I am resigning.  In March of last year I was trusted in giving advice and to advance on the idea of a children’s centre starting as early as September.  This gave us 7 months to create a program from scratch with limited materials and very limited resources.  I was up to the challenge and was confident I could make it happen with time and perseverance.  However, the idea of a summer camp came up and 7 months soon turned into 4 months for the summer camp and that would stall our entire progress. 

Again I was up to the challenge and met problems with (lack of personnel, no curriculum, no sales support, etc.) a positive mind force.  During this time I was positive with what I had and in the end Szeto and I created an idea and format which was rewarded by newspapers and T.V. stations on it’s creativity.  However, when I was transferred to Dong shan kou centre there were several problems.  The first problem was on the first day of the summer camp when an important decision had to be made as to whether or not we could continue with the air from renovation still dangerous.  I made the best call to my ability (I still believe it was the right choice and was supported by everyone except Raymond and Franklin), however senior level management was angry with me for making a decision without consulting them (in Hong Kong at the time).  This disagreement I handled with patience, but unfortunately it lead to the resignation of my brother as Academic and Service Manager of Guangzhou. 

The children’s centre was my focus for the past 8 months and I did make a few key mistakes during that time.  However, some problems came up that were out of my control and proved to be the most serious.  Some examples are, staff who worked for the project from other departments did not take me seriously, everything needed weeks for approval from senior management, and advice was not taken when it should have been.  This was all because Linguaphone could not formally release a letter stating my promotion as project manager.  I started the project in March and was “promoted” in September.  I collected a salary that colleagues made as well without pressure of timelines nor had the pressure to work more than 40 hours a week.  However, this did not stop me from working hard.

Szeto and I created the idea of the program, started the curriculum design, and made a complete package that was ready to sell.  We spent hours upon hours of work dedicated to support sales because we knew this was going to be a big challenge for them to sell at first.  We trained each centre 3 times for the summer camp, and 4 times for the September program.  The bulk of this was done by Szeto face to face with the sales teams.  We never had the full support of sales because it was a new program that needed extra time to find leads, call them for interview and then sell something totally new.  We suggested months ago that the children centre have a different sales team trained only for the children’s programs but was never followed up by senior management.

Soon because of an empty centre the program has been labeled a “failure”.  A failure due to lack of support, a failure due to lack of trust, and a failure due to lack of accountability.  Imagine working for something for 8 months and being called a “failure” because of decisions out of your control. 

I put all my heart and time into the project and wish to see it succeed, however I do not have any energy or patience left to stomach the continuous bad decisions and work for something labeled a failure.  Four weeks from today will be my last day in this company. December 13^th, 2006.